The Borderline’s engulfment or enmeshment anxiety has to do with her internalized bad object: the lifelong introjects that keep informing her how unworthy, unloveable, and inadequate she is.
Exposure to messages that countermand the bad object creates dissonance and the aforementioned anxiety. This leads to withdrawal, aggression, and avoidant behaviors. People pleasers, borderlines, and codependents have a constricted life: they subsist only through others and for others, vicariously, by proxy. Their identity is determined externally and is consequently sometimes disturbed.
If you suffer from this syndrome, to get better:
1. Establish a people-free time and zone. Banish all people from this space and from your thoughts for at least 1 hour a day;
2. Introduce structure into your life by embarking on a consuming task or assignment or by adopting a hobby;
3. Stop being emotionally invested in the past or in the future. Focus exclusively on the present. Use techniques like mindfulness, if need be.
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